Enrico
Tree Surgeon
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2007
- Messages
- 518
Here is the Logbook of the Good Ship SS EventHorizon from R23. Please add your own stories from this round.
29/06/07
-Somewhere west of the Orkneys.
Round starts, EH is fully crewed bar one, and our loveable captain, Skitz, has decreed that the decks are to be manned until suns'up.
No mermaids spotted yet.
03/07/07
- West of the Azores
Flakwars drawing to an end sees the crew somewhat changed.
Some never turned up, some where suspected of foul play and summary executed, and some was incarcerated for being drunk and disorderly. Luckily fresh recruits was eager to join the ranks, and we're once more on a full rooster.
This round we managed to keep our ID secret nearly 9 hour longer than last time!
Double portions of rum-grogg was passed round to celebrate! The constant waving from the top allies did lead to some land loss, but once LETs came out a tendency to just visit us _once_ emerged. Must be the lack of showers on the good ship! (Possibly Cannoner Jeffs Automatons has something to do with it as well...)
Not to forget: Bots everywhere tremble in fear as the mighty pirates of EH continue to steal and pillage them mercylessly.
Still no mermaids!
04/07/07
- Passing the Gibraltar
A huge wave rolled over S/S EventHorizon today, clearly identified as comming from the dreadnought SexOnTheBeach. Quite a few lost land, and some also lost their loyal staff. (Requiem im Pacem.) The funerals was carried out at sea.
But thanks to some rather volatile young men smelling of petrol, a posse of students of the occult and a group of finely dressed military units, our attackers at least had to pay for their land in blood.
We must look pretty impressive to gain the full attention of the most valuable alliance in the world!
Possible mermaids sighted of the easter bow at 8 glasses, witness suspected of madness, put in irons.
05/07/07
-Lake Geneva
Today the corpse of a sneaky git discovered to be a spy was hoisted to the yardarm, as feed for the seagulls. His wireless-set was smashed, but not before the wavelenghts on the speed-dial was confirmed as belonging to Khaos. Spies will not be tolerated, and the spectacle are sure to work as a dire warning to others who had similar inclinations to do foul deeds.
In other news: A bout of nacrolepcy developed earlier today. The striken sailor was, as dictaded in the shanty, put in a longboat, and wet all over..etc.
No mermaids, but the sound of cuckcoo-clocks might have scared them of. First-navigator keelhauled for bringing us up in a landlocked lake in Switzerland. New navigator appointed. Next stop: The Suez!
06/07/07
- Denmark Straits
A most peculiar incident last night. A large wave was approatching the USS EventHorizon of the starboard bow. Those brave souls who were wolves.. eh... awake manned the gunturrets and steadied themselves for the onslaught. But suddenly, when the mass of the wave was to break over the messanmast, it disappeared in thin air! T'was most unnerving to witness!
Our more supersticious of crewmates was later heard mumbling in their bunks of the myth of the flying dutchies. Strange undead bushtarion-players decked out with ancient 486-computers and sour cans of mouldy RedBull by their side. These lost souls are said to have made a deal with the sea-devil Azzy Jones himself to reach portal, and are thus condemmed to fight round after round without being able to see the sun or talk to other men.
Double watch was posted through the night!
10/07/07
- Port of Spain
The crossing of the atlantic has taken it's toll. Numerous mariners have experienced the sour and fickle faith, as their staff and colonies have been devastated by typhons, tsunamis and bad moons. We expect Voodoo and Magyk most foul. Timeless was the calls from the trusted nigh****chmen that storms were a'brewing on the horizon, and the crew was roused from their hammocks to face the enemy, or send their men to safer quarters. But we buttoned down the hatches, and maintained a stable course despite the onslaught. Our rigging was a sorry mess in the morning, but time will see the gentle ship fully brazened once more.
Midshipsman Mille disappeared one night, without trace. The captain reassures us it was only a innocent mishap, and that the young rascal, layden with rum, had mearly stubled over the railings and been swallowed by the sea. But can that explain the mustard in his bunk, or the scribblings on the walls of the infirmary? The ramblings of "Dagon" and "Hydra" callling for him spoke of an archaic, nay, eldrich horror who had invaded his dreams.
But not all is bleak. The evil smelling corpse of the spy has now truely been spread for all winds by the seagulls, and our gallows is now once more empty.
The last few days has also seen some of the men taking some well deserved shore-leave, and they now report back for duty, ready to supply their strong feet to our adverseries derrier.
12/07/07
- Christmas Island
Our quest continues, despite the lack of monkeys. The benevolent captain has restocked the crew, having marooned some of the freeloaders. Our good ship has been refurbished and the only thing missing now are some double strenght lanterns, but our savings should easily cover those expences.
13/07/07
Malaga Straits
The powder is dry, the guns loaded with grapeshot. The men (and the women) have been given triple rations off grogg, to keep busy while the officers ready the battleplan.
Afore the mizzenmast the wetstone has been going steadely all day, while cutlasses and hooks have been sharpened to a razors edge. Some of the deckhans have already blooded themselves on some of our intended pray: Testing their resolve, weakening their defence, and filling our own coffers at the same time.
At sunrise we strike the colours, hoist the Jolly Roger atop the mainmast, and unfold the blood-red topgallant sail on the foremast, signaling to the pestilent ones: "Expect no quarters, fight or surrender, your faith will be the same: Death"
15/07/07
Sea of Krakatoa
The War never got itself going, as our intended victims had fallen below 80% of our grand ships total value due to a rather intense bout of softening up. Not that we let that stop us from collecting some more bounty off the hapless.
Last night Norski, mariner, was made to walk the plank by Captain Skitz, after repeatedly commiting the offences of poor seamanship and letting his weapons rust. The company will do better in recruiting someone who can defend more whole-heartedly, and who keeps his mind present when reporting on the line.
Callum, mariner, begged his leave earlier today, or as some would rather say, jumped ship, near the island of Java. From what we can gather he let himself be tempted by the promise of loose women with generous silicon "enhancements" and unspecified STD's abord HMS Penthouse.
We're running low on lemons, and scurvy is never far away. Luckily, the crew has lately engaged in collecting bountiful fruitfarms who were not put to good use by lesser companies.
16/07/07
Tahiti
Our noble ship got into rough waters this midday, The tramp steamer Genophobia delivered a sudden broadside. Behind them some dingies filled with Protesting hippies was riding in their wake, but many of these experienced that our cannons can deliver a wallop even when the decks are slick with spilled blood from the first encounter.
All in all we lost 5278 acres of prime land, and we pity the poor natives of those colonies, as they now have cruel and undignified masters, rather than being ruled under our benevolent grace. We must split the mainbrace and wet the royal topgallant to recapture our colonies, post-haste.
Mayhaps it's the high humidity we encounter as we now enter the doldrums that are to blaim, but it seems a number of our crew have showed themselves a bit less active than usual these last few days.
A constant nuicanse are the flocks of foul, grey seabird, who swoop on our lookouts at the most inopportune moments, we shall have to prepare a solid scarcrow to stop these gargoyles of the deep.
18/07/07
The Galapagos
Pestilence actually had the audacity to try and wave us yesterday. Very unorganized and half-hearted, they were easily stopped. But it's clear to all that we will have to destroy these cocky halfbreeds, as they show a tendency to either snivle or threaten us when we pop by to liberate their colonies. Luckily their defences are in shambles and limp-wristed as always. Overdefending obvious fakes, and letting the targets proper fend for themselves. Surely not a winning combination.
The foul binary of Geno and Protest paid another visit as well, but this time we were ready for them and managed to stop nearly all land-loss.
Jim-Jar, mariner was earlier today replaced with a new recruit, the new man was sporting rather long canines and an unhealthy palour. That long, black silk cape was rather smashing though. The rumours that the government is looking for him for crimes against humanity is just slander.
A quite epic event took place just before daybreak: a large PoM-adventurer launched an attack on one of our crew. Then, when the defences started to pile up, the adventurers companion sent a large swarm of these infernal gargoyles unto us.
But the defences stood fast, stopped the landraiders, as well as inflicting not insubstancial losses on the horde of gargoyles. After the debauchle some telegrams of praise of a battle
well fought was extended between the combatants, and proved that even in the heat of battle some semblance of chivalry as fitting for gentry may be expected.
19/07/07
Cape Horn
Yesterday we decided to recoup our earlier losses by visiting Pestilence once more. The wave went off well, but an incicent caused much merriment among the rank and file:
One of the Pestilent ones sent a small counterattack against our acting cannonmaster, Smoker. Due to the confussion of the battle our cannoneer managed to miscount when his trusty staff would return, and they ended up in the crossfire of the attackers green-clad rangers, his bouncers and gasoline gals took the brunt of the assault. The end result was some quite impressive losses on our side. Just goes to show that sometimes Fortuna turns her fickle eye in a second. The ballsy fellow confided in a message that he actually just had arrived at S/S Pestilence from the bulktrader Hara Kiri, so he probably hasn't been tainted by the weak resolve we've come to expect from their part.
The newly recruited creep skulked away in one of the longboat just hours after setting foot on our decks for the first time. Only good thing was that he took with him a large proposion of the ships rats. A series of shots was fired when we became aware of the treatchery, but they fell short. A little bird told us he was being picked up by a submarine. Must have been the RightUnders then
As responsible for the recruitment of this mariner the Good First-Mate Bindhi might have had to endure 10 lashes from the cat'o'nine-tails. But instead our benevolent captain promoted Bindhi from the duty as acting commander of the ship during night watch to instead getting the full responsibility of cleaning out the guano from the crow nest for the next 24 hours.
I forgot to record this in my last entry, but mariner and part time botswain Fredd has proved most successful in keeping the ships bell polished and ready for action. As soon as a storm is seen brewing on the far horizon, or a gunnery-sloop sets it course towards one of our men, he rings it vigorously, waking the men for action.
We experience another rush in the late hours last night, and some of the attackers was the Gargoyle-rogue and the PoM-Adventurer we'd crossed paths with earlier that day. But he held true to his word, and when hailed promplty steared abreast and blew for recall.
The rest of the raiders hit Blackthorn, but his staff, supported buy a contingent from Enrico repelled the raiders with some losses.
Mariners Jeff & Chora spent their free hours in the bowspit-net, spying for the elusive mermaids. They report not seing but one, but a whole troupe of mermaids, playing selected highlights of Gilbert & Sullivans musicals. The fact that they smelled heavily of whiskey did not aid their cause.
21/07/07
The Falklands
Finaly I got too see the Mermaids for myself! They where magnificent, dressed in tuxedo's and armed with silenced weapons. An interesting note is that they seem to have a peculiar fondness for Vodka martinis, this discovery left me shaken, but not stirred. Others have reported sighting mermaids equiped with small stagesets and a variety of brightly painted dolls, performing small pantomimes and scaring children. What wonders this bright blue sea has to offer.
Our contact with the rotting old hulk the Pestilence revealed yesterday that they've taken paranoia to a new level, contemplating keel-hauling one of their own crewmen as a suspected spy. If we can keep up playing at their own nightmares, we might even make them do our work for us, destroying themselves from the inside like their namesake.
Finally, First mate Chora has been confined to his bunk the last few day. During an attack friday he tried to command his men out of his colonies, but unfortunatly things went pear-shaped fast. It seems he had run out of cookies! Well, it suits him right for bringing along that infernal pet monkey of his. The little bugger had eaten all of his cookies, and he have to wait for a new supply, luckily the tin is due to arrive today.
We named the monkey "Nokia"...
25/07/07
The Azores
Much have happent since the last report.
Mariner Acid has left us, as mariner Traxion returned from his fishing trip.
As for the foul ship S/S Pestilence I bring you the report from our cannoneer in vertabim:
"Arghhh, I'd like to suggest ye to scribble down the events of the glorious day that we almost sunk the rotten old hulk named the Pestilence.
I'd like to point out that after the rain of cannonballs, swords and bullets we brought upon them, our crew agreed the vile ship was doomed, but as we were sailing away, our first mate, who has a keen eye, saw their men collecting pieces of debris from the ship as they were not far from the shore, and they would probably set up their camp at the beach. They might try to careen their vessel and get her seaworthy again.
We let them be, as they should be crippled and of no harm for a while now, making them a harmless and attractive meal for the small time scum sailing about in sloops and small briggs, for these seawolves are like vultures, and a pest to the crew of a ship struck aground and in need of repairs.
Thats all to report,
Cannoneer Smoker"
But the Pestience is not the only ship to have gotten in dire straits. Yesterday we got messages from the the ship-o'the-line Genophobia, that a mighty seabattle had taken place during the night. The brigantine Penthouse had taken the brunt of it, and was barely floating, with some crew scurrying into the boats and others just falling asleep on their posts.
We sprang to the opportunity, and many of our men captured good shiploads of bounty from the stricken ship, and this morning the derelict was seen barely afloat south of the azores, being carried by the tide towards the slave coast.
Just before we got the news of the Penthouse five of us tried to help Blackthorn to recruit some men. Unfortunatly we miscalculated, and massacred the staff of the poor soul, rather that steal it. Blackthorn was quite disheartened as the crew had seemed both capable and strong with good health.
....
Unfortunatly we've had some attacks on us as well. Most notably by a few cowardly souls from the Leftovers-crew. Unable to face us in a fair fight they did a number of feint attacks, recalling their men when they heard the ship's bell calling us to battle stations.
In the end they managed to hit poor Smoker, and he's had to patch up his kit as best can be.
27/07/07
An unnamed island near Sumatra.
Last night things heated up. On the horizon we saw the intimidating three funnels of the S/S LeftOvers, a steamer somewhat larger than our own vessel. There intentions soon became clear as we could observe a number of fast gunboats making their way towards us.
Despite our clear postion as underdogs we decided to braze, and called clear ship, running up the standard.
It turned out as a most horrific battle, with blood, guts, the occasional limb and thick cordite-fog enveloping our ship. When the battle was over we had lost a lot of our forward rigging, but our decks was also strewn with a number of the raiders men, and the sea around us was awash in floatsam from sunk gunboats. We lost £ 3,738,061,049,500 worth of staff, but a quick countdown showed that LO had impressive troop loses as well: £ 2,069,797,940,500.
Rumour has it First mate Bindhi demanded a parlay, and we have not seen the raiders since.
Now we have limped into a shallow cove on this small unchartered island. Our landing party reported finding swee****er, goats and trees suitable to repair our masts and rigging. We'll soon set out to sea once more, hungry for plunder!
28/07/07
Same island
Captain Skitz was relieved of his duty last night and our new captain, Bindhi was merciful enought to neither maroon him, keelhaul him or put him in irons. Thus the Irish tricolour have been replaced with the Blue Ensign on our stern. Guess we'll be waltzing mathilda from now on
The repairs are going ahead spendidly. Even though we have had small skirmishes with crew of the LeftOvers, we can notice a certain bickering and a foul mood among them, and they was also easily stopped. One of their ilk actually whispered to us that he'd like to se one of his shipmates severly buggered!
The large sailbarge the Protest has been sighted, with the rigging in disarray and obvious ad hoc repairs below the waterline. As the gentlemen we are we relieved the ship of some of it's cargo!
01/08/07
The Sunda Straits.
There have been a interesting development these past few days. Our proud ship has regained most of its former glory. What wonders a few coats of paints and a new figurehead makes for a difference.
We have been claimbing steadely in the rankings, despite the continued interessest some of the seamen from the despicable ragtag hulk known as the LeftOvers, have shown in us.
We have managed to stem most of the tide but at times the cost have been high.
Genophobia have been involved in a vicious seabattle against no less than three massive vessels. The result have been obvious in the form of driftwood, and destitute sailors trying to regain their lost possessions. We have showed thet taht while their endeavour is understandable, we give no quarters. But on a whole we've managed to keep a civil tone. So much as last night, when the Genos was embroiled in an counterattack, we were invited to join them in the assault. Unfortunatly our lookout at the time, none other than this humble scribe, had his thoughts elsewere, and didn't notice the signal rockets until just at the eve of the battle. We can only hope that this was not a singular opportunity.
Mariner Blackthorne was the focus of some rather peculiar interest from some bewildering PoM's men yesterday. Seamingly with no regard for their own men and their own future, they threw themselves at him. His mates naturally came to his aid, and the battle was decidely one-sided!
The end result is that he now commands a rather imposing force of slick political campaigners.
Last but not least: The position as First Mate of our frigate is now open. The position is one of the outmost importance, and the officer would have to be alert, active and of bright eye and sound heart! The hopefull prospects will probably start competing against each others, to show their worth. Captain Bindhi has also made the decision that we for the time being shall try to remain at these latitudes to continue our rebuilding and enhancing the capabilities of the ship. The number of cannons are ever increasing, and the shipwrights are building new gunports while I speak, or rather write.
The mermaids around our ship has reached surprising numbers while we were docked. And a new genus is now present in ever larger quantities. This mermaid is equiped with what lookes like a black balaklava, and drags around what looks like modelling putty with wires sticking out. Most intriguing. We was unsure if we were seeing things, as it seems these strange mermaids are invisible to all but us??
Will investigate this further at a later date.
02/08/07
Tortuga
The Good ship lost two crew men last night. Timiaz snuck away inn one of the small boats, leaving behind a note saying he was growing to big for the ship, knocking his head each time he was below deck... silly man.
Blackthorn was suddenly gone as well. But he has been spotted bobbing along in our wake in an old rum barrel. He was actually so close he nearly got swiped in an incomming wave. We can still notice him in our spyglas from time to time, so maybe he'll grow tired of his tiny vessel and climb aboard in a few days, when he gets seasick and lonely?
Holymara is also out of action for a bit. He was complaining his clothes didn't fit him at all, and have gone to visit a tailor to get himself a new set of clothes. That will leave him as our new busboy for a while, if he do come back as promissed.
But something else has happende today as well.
The huge Ship of the Line: SOTB was engaged by an armade from his majesties royal navy.
The HMS Goverment's Enforcer let go with a massive broadside the likes of no other, and in a minute gave the grand cruiser a listing to port. Meanwhile her majesties taxcollectors and emissaries confiscated a number of dominions owned by the SOTBs crewmen.
A note was posted at all ports exclaiming the Goverment choose to intervene due to:
Suspected blackmarketeering, rigging of fights and general misconduct not fitting a good christian,muslim,hindu,voodooqueen,buddhist or other person of any religious incliantions not mentioned above.
But even after the massive carnage, half the ship was still unharmed, and we suspect there's only a matter of time before it's once more a scurge of the high seas...
06/08/07
The Suez Canal
We have withdrawn to the comparable safety of the Horn of Africa. The last few days have been rough both on crew and ship. A number of assualts from the Brigantine Breasticles, as well as gunsloops carrying the colours of both LeftOvers and Renaissance have been harrassing us. Chora, Jeff and Citrus has experienced the hardship of suddenly being all alone at their plantations.
We fished Blackthorn out of the sea after a while, but as his clothes was wet, filthy and smelled of fish, he subsequently changed them for a new set in the last port we visited. It cost him his acres, but that the porice of the local seamstresses is high we all ready knew from Holymara's experience. Blackthorn reappered decked out in what seemed like the remains from at least half a dozen piratical movies, equipped not only with a eyepatch, butr also a stuffed parrot!
Smoker decided to lighten the mood, and a number of the crew have joined in at his little cardgame. But when he accidentally managed to spill washing water over Choras cards, so the latter had to draw a new hand, he was chased up into the topgallant for his efforts.
We keep restocking our supplies, and try to keep out of gunrange from the larger men-o-wars until we are ready.
08/08/07
Dogger Banks
Our rebuilding efforts show their worth, and we are once more steadily rising up the ranks. Yesterday Mariners Enrico and Smoker had some extraordinary luck while defending, and sent a scallywag limping home 700 billions worth of men lighter than he arrived, in one tick, and all for no loss of their own!
Bindhi also recruited a new sailor, Morphix by name, and puppeteer by trade. We hope he'll make a welcome addition to the crew, and S/S Event Horizon once more sails with a full compliment of adventurers on the high seas of Bushtarion!
All the while the cruel Lord of the Seas, the frightening Davy Azzer, has opened up a singular tournament, where the most vile cutthroaths of Bushtarion can compete for hidden treasures. But only the most ruthless will survive. Naturally, a number of our crew signed up for this competition!!
09/08/07
Indian Ocean, south of Ceylon.
Last night The Captain marooned mariners Sam and Morphix on a nearby island, due to him having established contact with to salty old seadogs in need of an new posting.
The two new, Toby and Alcibiades had taken their leave of the ship LeftOvers, and will surely strenghten our expedision!
The said LeftOvers was incidentally later seen on the horizon with a plume of smoke and the distant thunder of cannonade was heard on the breeze. A massive battle seemed to evolve there yonder.
11/08/07
The Maldives
T'was a bitter and grey morning when the first gunboats was spotted in the morning mist. The target was our shipmate Beemer. It became clear as the number of enemymen was ever growing that it was paramount to get the man awake and ready to command his troops. After some frantic bell-ringing by Enrico he thus appeared, barely 5 minuts before impact, and could sent his men to safety. Ever loyal they had just waited, reqady to give their life for their master.
But this was only the overture, an hour later a full bodied wave apperared on the horizon. Their banners indicated it was Renaissance. With impressive agility the defence was sorted, and most of the attackers where met head on, and the ones that landed unopposed found their targets positions evacuated, and thus had tad to leave their bloodlust unquenched. For those that didn't find their targets evacuated it was a whole different story. At Enricos posiotion, the enemylosses was 4:1 much thanks to Tobys intervention with millions of terrorist leaders. At Traxion the numbers where more equal, but still the Event Horizon could chalk it up as a victory.
It was perhaps the largest wave we've had to endure in a week and it was countered nicely.
Much festivity unfolded afterwards.
Then during the day, Blackthorn had arranged for a small outing, or rather mayhaps a picnic. The colonies of Pestilence had been chosen as suitable for the purpose, and even though a number of their men had wasted all their resources in a futile effort to stop Beemer earlier, and thus were deamed to bleak and dreary for a proper picnic, there were still a number of pitoresque spots to pitch our tents. Naturally on some spots the hostile inhabitants made landing rather pecarious. Some of our shipmates had to abort the mission, as not to loose more staff than expected, but a fair few came away with holds brimming with bounty and the soil needed to expand their dominions.
Vast expances of sea can hold many dangers as we again was reminded last night. From the depths we could se strange lights and then the ruffians of RightUnders were upon us. Their target was our new shipmate Alcibiades. Their first effort was scared off. After Jeff had roused Enrico and he had tried to contact others.
So when they reappared barely an hour later we were waiting for them. Again Alcibiades was the target. this time they had found reinforcements, and were singelmindedly after their quarry. No diversenary raids at all, just the belief that by throwing massive amounts of men inbto the breetch they would come out victorious. What folly!. The three attackers had deployed an enormous force. And as the defence begun piling in, Mariner Jeff was heard to call to the Captain from below decks "Are there any need for me sir". The dry and somewhat sarcastic reply from Captain Bindhi was: "No, I think we have this HALF A BILLION incomming covered..... *sigh*... yes Jeff please send your men"
When it became clear the aggressor was not backing down, the captains last command was "Ready men, brace for impact".
The first tick was among the most bloody we had experienced so far when the smoke cleared, 3 trillion in damage was the total, of which, the enemy had suffered 2,5... Jubilant cheers rose from the foredeck, as cannons was reloaded and the wounded carried below. The second tick was nearly as bloody with 2,5 trillion in damage. but again The men of Event Horizon came up untop doing unto others more than twice what others did unto them.
By the third tick the enemies spirits was broken, and two had already come about, the last was not so quick, and suffered the indignity of having his few stragglers wiped to a man, for a further quarter-trillion in damage for no losses of our own.
It was then a rather harried Jeff appeared on deck, rock undone and with mismatching boots. When he gathered that the battle was over, and hed missed it, he uttered some words not fit for print.
The action was deamed an utmost success. The three attackers had suffered 4,2 trillions in losses, and our 8 defenders (9, counting Jeff who never got to wet his blades this time) took 1,2 trillion damages.
Captain Bindhi ordered tripple rations of rum for all involved, the sermons for the fallen was solemn and quick, the burials carried out at sea.
13/08/07
Cape of Good Hope
Due to his affairs taking to much time our shipmate Fred had to take his leave from the ship, but he was speadily replaced by a true buccaneer. Bearing the name of Blackbeard he must feel at home at a pirates ship!
Our defences is steadily improving, and we see less waves, and more sneak-attacks. But most are repelled, some with massive damage to our attackers. Attacking has gone more smoothly as well. Many crewmen have grown their holdings by many acres lately, and we are now the 5th most valueable ship on the sea! Ships that used to be our nemesis now become the target of our attacks. Protest is being visited daily. Enema could not stop our marauders landing at will, and we see ships of former glory sliding below us on the rankings.
The nigh****ch shall have praise for their vigil, and our Captain have showed himself very capable in recruiting able sailors to replace those we lost.
(end part 1)
29/06/07
-Somewhere west of the Orkneys.
Round starts, EH is fully crewed bar one, and our loveable captain, Skitz, has decreed that the decks are to be manned until suns'up.
No mermaids spotted yet.
03/07/07
- West of the Azores
Flakwars drawing to an end sees the crew somewhat changed.
Some never turned up, some where suspected of foul play and summary executed, and some was incarcerated for being drunk and disorderly. Luckily fresh recruits was eager to join the ranks, and we're once more on a full rooster.
This round we managed to keep our ID secret nearly 9 hour longer than last time!
Double portions of rum-grogg was passed round to celebrate! The constant waving from the top allies did lead to some land loss, but once LETs came out a tendency to just visit us _once_ emerged. Must be the lack of showers on the good ship! (Possibly Cannoner Jeffs Automatons has something to do with it as well...)Not to forget: Bots everywhere tremble in fear as the mighty pirates of EH continue to steal and pillage them mercylessly.
Still no mermaids!
04/07/07
- Passing the Gibraltar
A huge wave rolled over S/S EventHorizon today, clearly identified as comming from the dreadnought SexOnTheBeach. Quite a few lost land, and some also lost their loyal staff. (Requiem im Pacem.) The funerals was carried out at sea.
But thanks to some rather volatile young men smelling of petrol, a posse of students of the occult and a group of finely dressed military units, our attackers at least had to pay for their land in blood.
We must look pretty impressive to gain the full attention of the most valuable alliance in the world!
Possible mermaids sighted of the easter bow at 8 glasses, witness suspected of madness, put in irons.
05/07/07
-Lake Geneva
Today the corpse of a sneaky git discovered to be a spy was hoisted to the yardarm, as feed for the seagulls. His wireless-set was smashed, but not before the wavelenghts on the speed-dial was confirmed as belonging to Khaos. Spies will not be tolerated, and the spectacle are sure to work as a dire warning to others who had similar inclinations to do foul deeds.
In other news: A bout of nacrolepcy developed earlier today. The striken sailor was, as dictaded in the shanty, put in a longboat, and wet all over..etc.
No mermaids, but the sound of cuckcoo-clocks might have scared them of. First-navigator keelhauled for bringing us up in a landlocked lake in Switzerland. New navigator appointed. Next stop: The Suez!
06/07/07
- Denmark Straits
A most peculiar incident last night. A large wave was approatching the USS EventHorizon of the starboard bow. Those brave souls who were wolves.. eh... awake manned the gunturrets and steadied themselves for the onslaught. But suddenly, when the mass of the wave was to break over the messanmast, it disappeared in thin air! T'was most unnerving to witness!
Our more supersticious of crewmates was later heard mumbling in their bunks of the myth of the flying dutchies. Strange undead bushtarion-players decked out with ancient 486-computers and sour cans of mouldy RedBull by their side. These lost souls are said to have made a deal with the sea-devil Azzy Jones himself to reach portal, and are thus condemmed to fight round after round without being able to see the sun or talk to other men.
Double watch was posted through the night!
10/07/07
- Port of Spain
The crossing of the atlantic has taken it's toll. Numerous mariners have experienced the sour and fickle faith, as their staff and colonies have been devastated by typhons, tsunamis and bad moons. We expect Voodoo and Magyk most foul. Timeless was the calls from the trusted nigh****chmen that storms were a'brewing on the horizon, and the crew was roused from their hammocks to face the enemy, or send their men to safer quarters. But we buttoned down the hatches, and maintained a stable course despite the onslaught. Our rigging was a sorry mess in the morning, but time will see the gentle ship fully brazened once more.
Midshipsman Mille disappeared one night, without trace. The captain reassures us it was only a innocent mishap, and that the young rascal, layden with rum, had mearly stubled over the railings and been swallowed by the sea. But can that explain the mustard in his bunk, or the scribblings on the walls of the infirmary? The ramblings of "Dagon" and "Hydra" callling for him spoke of an archaic, nay, eldrich horror who had invaded his dreams.
But not all is bleak. The evil smelling corpse of the spy has now truely been spread for all winds by the seagulls, and our gallows is now once more empty.
The last few days has also seen some of the men taking some well deserved shore-leave, and they now report back for duty, ready to supply their strong feet to our adverseries derrier.
12/07/07
- Christmas Island
Our quest continues, despite the lack of monkeys. The benevolent captain has restocked the crew, having marooned some of the freeloaders. Our good ship has been refurbished and the only thing missing now are some double strenght lanterns, but our savings should easily cover those expences.
13/07/07
Malaga Straits
The powder is dry, the guns loaded with grapeshot. The men (and the women) have been given triple rations off grogg, to keep busy while the officers ready the battleplan.
Afore the mizzenmast the wetstone has been going steadely all day, while cutlasses and hooks have been sharpened to a razors edge. Some of the deckhans have already blooded themselves on some of our intended pray: Testing their resolve, weakening their defence, and filling our own coffers at the same time.
At sunrise we strike the colours, hoist the Jolly Roger atop the mainmast, and unfold the blood-red topgallant sail on the foremast, signaling to the pestilent ones: "Expect no quarters, fight or surrender, your faith will be the same: Death"
15/07/07
Sea of Krakatoa
The War never got itself going, as our intended victims had fallen below 80% of our grand ships total value due to a rather intense bout of softening up. Not that we let that stop us from collecting some more bounty off the hapless.
Last night Norski, mariner, was made to walk the plank by Captain Skitz, after repeatedly commiting the offences of poor seamanship and letting his weapons rust. The company will do better in recruiting someone who can defend more whole-heartedly, and who keeps his mind present when reporting on the line.
Callum, mariner, begged his leave earlier today, or as some would rather say, jumped ship, near the island of Java. From what we can gather he let himself be tempted by the promise of loose women with generous silicon "enhancements" and unspecified STD's abord HMS Penthouse.
We're running low on lemons, and scurvy is never far away. Luckily, the crew has lately engaged in collecting bountiful fruitfarms who were not put to good use by lesser companies.
16/07/07
Tahiti
Our noble ship got into rough waters this midday, The tramp steamer Genophobia delivered a sudden broadside. Behind them some dingies filled with Protesting hippies was riding in their wake, but many of these experienced that our cannons can deliver a wallop even when the decks are slick with spilled blood from the first encounter.
All in all we lost 5278 acres of prime land, and we pity the poor natives of those colonies, as they now have cruel and undignified masters, rather than being ruled under our benevolent grace. We must split the mainbrace and wet the royal topgallant to recapture our colonies, post-haste.
Mayhaps it's the high humidity we encounter as we now enter the doldrums that are to blaim, but it seems a number of our crew have showed themselves a bit less active than usual these last few days.
A constant nuicanse are the flocks of foul, grey seabird, who swoop on our lookouts at the most inopportune moments, we shall have to prepare a solid scarcrow to stop these gargoyles of the deep.
18/07/07
The Galapagos
Pestilence actually had the audacity to try and wave us yesterday. Very unorganized and half-hearted, they were easily stopped. But it's clear to all that we will have to destroy these cocky halfbreeds, as they show a tendency to either snivle or threaten us when we pop by to liberate their colonies. Luckily their defences are in shambles and limp-wristed as always. Overdefending obvious fakes, and letting the targets proper fend for themselves. Surely not a winning combination.
The foul binary of Geno and Protest paid another visit as well, but this time we were ready for them and managed to stop nearly all land-loss.
Jim-Jar, mariner was earlier today replaced with a new recruit, the new man was sporting rather long canines and an unhealthy palour. That long, black silk cape was rather smashing though. The rumours that the government is looking for him for crimes against humanity is just slander.
A quite epic event took place just before daybreak: a large PoM-adventurer launched an attack on one of our crew. Then, when the defences started to pile up, the adventurers companion sent a large swarm of these infernal gargoyles unto us.
But the defences stood fast, stopped the landraiders, as well as inflicting not insubstancial losses on the horde of gargoyles. After the debauchle some telegrams of praise of a battle
well fought was extended between the combatants, and proved that even in the heat of battle some semblance of chivalry as fitting for gentry may be expected.
19/07/07
Cape Horn
Yesterday we decided to recoup our earlier losses by visiting Pestilence once more. The wave went off well, but an incicent caused much merriment among the rank and file:
One of the Pestilent ones sent a small counterattack against our acting cannonmaster, Smoker. Due to the confussion of the battle our cannoneer managed to miscount when his trusty staff would return, and they ended up in the crossfire of the attackers green-clad rangers, his bouncers and gasoline gals took the brunt of the assault. The end result was some quite impressive losses on our side. Just goes to show that sometimes Fortuna turns her fickle eye in a second. The ballsy fellow confided in a message that he actually just had arrived at S/S Pestilence from the bulktrader Hara Kiri, so he probably hasn't been tainted by the weak resolve we've come to expect from their part.
The newly recruited creep skulked away in one of the longboat just hours after setting foot on our decks for the first time. Only good thing was that he took with him a large proposion of the ships rats. A series of shots was fired when we became aware of the treatchery, but they fell short. A little bird told us he was being picked up by a submarine. Must have been the RightUnders then
As responsible for the recruitment of this mariner the Good First-Mate Bindhi might have had to endure 10 lashes from the cat'o'nine-tails. But instead our benevolent captain promoted Bindhi from the duty as acting commander of the ship during night watch to instead getting the full responsibility of cleaning out the guano from the crow nest for the next 24 hours.
I forgot to record this in my last entry, but mariner and part time botswain Fredd has proved most successful in keeping the ships bell polished and ready for action. As soon as a storm is seen brewing on the far horizon, or a gunnery-sloop sets it course towards one of our men, he rings it vigorously, waking the men for action.
We experience another rush in the late hours last night, and some of the attackers was the Gargoyle-rogue and the PoM-Adventurer we'd crossed paths with earlier that day. But he held true to his word, and when hailed promplty steared abreast and blew for recall.
The rest of the raiders hit Blackthorn, but his staff, supported buy a contingent from Enrico repelled the raiders with some losses.
Mariners Jeff & Chora spent their free hours in the bowspit-net, spying for the elusive mermaids. They report not seing but one, but a whole troupe of mermaids, playing selected highlights of Gilbert & Sullivans musicals. The fact that they smelled heavily of whiskey did not aid their cause.
21/07/07
The Falklands
Finaly I got too see the Mermaids for myself! They where magnificent, dressed in tuxedo's and armed with silenced weapons. An interesting note is that they seem to have a peculiar fondness for Vodka martinis, this discovery left me shaken, but not stirred. Others have reported sighting mermaids equiped with small stagesets and a variety of brightly painted dolls, performing small pantomimes and scaring children. What wonders this bright blue sea has to offer.
Our contact with the rotting old hulk the Pestilence revealed yesterday that they've taken paranoia to a new level, contemplating keel-hauling one of their own crewmen as a suspected spy. If we can keep up playing at their own nightmares, we might even make them do our work for us, destroying themselves from the inside like their namesake.
Finally, First mate Chora has been confined to his bunk the last few day. During an attack friday he tried to command his men out of his colonies, but unfortunatly things went pear-shaped fast. It seems he had run out of cookies! Well, it suits him right for bringing along that infernal pet monkey of his. The little bugger had eaten all of his cookies, and he have to wait for a new supply, luckily the tin is due to arrive today.
We named the monkey "Nokia"...
25/07/07
The Azores
Much have happent since the last report.
Mariner Acid has left us, as mariner Traxion returned from his fishing trip.
As for the foul ship S/S Pestilence I bring you the report from our cannoneer in vertabim:
"Arghhh, I'd like to suggest ye to scribble down the events of the glorious day that we almost sunk the rotten old hulk named the Pestilence.
I'd like to point out that after the rain of cannonballs, swords and bullets we brought upon them, our crew agreed the vile ship was doomed, but as we were sailing away, our first mate, who has a keen eye, saw their men collecting pieces of debris from the ship as they were not far from the shore, and they would probably set up their camp at the beach. They might try to careen their vessel and get her seaworthy again.
We let them be, as they should be crippled and of no harm for a while now, making them a harmless and attractive meal for the small time scum sailing about in sloops and small briggs, for these seawolves are like vultures, and a pest to the crew of a ship struck aground and in need of repairs.
Thats all to report,
Cannoneer Smoker"
But the Pestience is not the only ship to have gotten in dire straits. Yesterday we got messages from the the ship-o'the-line Genophobia, that a mighty seabattle had taken place during the night. The brigantine Penthouse had taken the brunt of it, and was barely floating, with some crew scurrying into the boats and others just falling asleep on their posts.
We sprang to the opportunity, and many of our men captured good shiploads of bounty from the stricken ship, and this morning the derelict was seen barely afloat south of the azores, being carried by the tide towards the slave coast.
Just before we got the news of the Penthouse five of us tried to help Blackthorn to recruit some men. Unfortunatly we miscalculated, and massacred the staff of the poor soul, rather that steal it. Blackthorn was quite disheartened as the crew had seemed both capable and strong with good health.
....
Unfortunatly we've had some attacks on us as well. Most notably by a few cowardly souls from the Leftovers-crew. Unable to face us in a fair fight they did a number of feint attacks, recalling their men when they heard the ship's bell calling us to battle stations.
In the end they managed to hit poor Smoker, and he's had to patch up his kit as best can be.
27/07/07
An unnamed island near Sumatra.
Last night things heated up. On the horizon we saw the intimidating three funnels of the S/S LeftOvers, a steamer somewhat larger than our own vessel. There intentions soon became clear as we could observe a number of fast gunboats making their way towards us.
Despite our clear postion as underdogs we decided to braze, and called clear ship, running up the standard.
It turned out as a most horrific battle, with blood, guts, the occasional limb and thick cordite-fog enveloping our ship. When the battle was over we had lost a lot of our forward rigging, but our decks was also strewn with a number of the raiders men, and the sea around us was awash in floatsam from sunk gunboats. We lost £ 3,738,061,049,500 worth of staff, but a quick countdown showed that LO had impressive troop loses as well: £ 2,069,797,940,500.
Rumour has it First mate Bindhi demanded a parlay, and we have not seen the raiders since.
Now we have limped into a shallow cove on this small unchartered island. Our landing party reported finding swee****er, goats and trees suitable to repair our masts and rigging. We'll soon set out to sea once more, hungry for plunder!
28/07/07
Same island
Captain Skitz was relieved of his duty last night and our new captain, Bindhi was merciful enought to neither maroon him, keelhaul him or put him in irons. Thus the Irish tricolour have been replaced with the Blue Ensign on our stern. Guess we'll be waltzing mathilda from now on
The repairs are going ahead spendidly. Even though we have had small skirmishes with crew of the LeftOvers, we can notice a certain bickering and a foul mood among them, and they was also easily stopped. One of their ilk actually whispered to us that he'd like to se one of his shipmates severly buggered!
The large sailbarge the Protest has been sighted, with the rigging in disarray and obvious ad hoc repairs below the waterline. As the gentlemen we are we relieved the ship of some of it's cargo!
01/08/07
The Sunda Straits.
There have been a interesting development these past few days. Our proud ship has regained most of its former glory. What wonders a few coats of paints and a new figurehead makes for a difference.
We have been claimbing steadely in the rankings, despite the continued interessest some of the seamen from the despicable ragtag hulk known as the LeftOvers, have shown in us.
We have managed to stem most of the tide but at times the cost have been high.
Genophobia have been involved in a vicious seabattle against no less than three massive vessels. The result have been obvious in the form of driftwood, and destitute sailors trying to regain their lost possessions. We have showed thet taht while their endeavour is understandable, we give no quarters. But on a whole we've managed to keep a civil tone. So much as last night, when the Genos was embroiled in an counterattack, we were invited to join them in the assault. Unfortunatly our lookout at the time, none other than this humble scribe, had his thoughts elsewere, and didn't notice the signal rockets until just at the eve of the battle. We can only hope that this was not a singular opportunity.
Mariner Blackthorne was the focus of some rather peculiar interest from some bewildering PoM's men yesterday. Seamingly with no regard for their own men and their own future, they threw themselves at him. His mates naturally came to his aid, and the battle was decidely one-sided!
The end result is that he now commands a rather imposing force of slick political campaigners.
Last but not least: The position as First Mate of our frigate is now open. The position is one of the outmost importance, and the officer would have to be alert, active and of bright eye and sound heart! The hopefull prospects will probably start competing against each others, to show their worth. Captain Bindhi has also made the decision that we for the time being shall try to remain at these latitudes to continue our rebuilding and enhancing the capabilities of the ship. The number of cannons are ever increasing, and the shipwrights are building new gunports while I speak, or rather write.
The mermaids around our ship has reached surprising numbers while we were docked. And a new genus is now present in ever larger quantities. This mermaid is equiped with what lookes like a black balaklava, and drags around what looks like modelling putty with wires sticking out. Most intriguing. We was unsure if we were seeing things, as it seems these strange mermaids are invisible to all but us??
Will investigate this further at a later date.
02/08/07
Tortuga
The Good ship lost two crew men last night. Timiaz snuck away inn one of the small boats, leaving behind a note saying he was growing to big for the ship, knocking his head each time he was below deck... silly man.
Blackthorn was suddenly gone as well. But he has been spotted bobbing along in our wake in an old rum barrel. He was actually so close he nearly got swiped in an incomming wave. We can still notice him in our spyglas from time to time, so maybe he'll grow tired of his tiny vessel and climb aboard in a few days, when he gets seasick and lonely?
Holymara is also out of action for a bit. He was complaining his clothes didn't fit him at all, and have gone to visit a tailor to get himself a new set of clothes. That will leave him as our new busboy for a while, if he do come back as promissed.
But something else has happende today as well.
The huge Ship of the Line: SOTB was engaged by an armade from his majesties royal navy.
The HMS Goverment's Enforcer let go with a massive broadside the likes of no other, and in a minute gave the grand cruiser a listing to port. Meanwhile her majesties taxcollectors and emissaries confiscated a number of dominions owned by the SOTBs crewmen.
A note was posted at all ports exclaiming the Goverment choose to intervene due to:
Suspected blackmarketeering, rigging of fights and general misconduct not fitting a good christian,muslim,hindu,voodooqueen,buddhist or other person of any religious incliantions not mentioned above.
But even after the massive carnage, half the ship was still unharmed, and we suspect there's only a matter of time before it's once more a scurge of the high seas...
06/08/07
The Suez Canal
We have withdrawn to the comparable safety of the Horn of Africa. The last few days have been rough both on crew and ship. A number of assualts from the Brigantine Breasticles, as well as gunsloops carrying the colours of both LeftOvers and Renaissance have been harrassing us. Chora, Jeff and Citrus has experienced the hardship of suddenly being all alone at their plantations.
We fished Blackthorn out of the sea after a while, but as his clothes was wet, filthy and smelled of fish, he subsequently changed them for a new set in the last port we visited. It cost him his acres, but that the porice of the local seamstresses is high we all ready knew from Holymara's experience. Blackthorn reappered decked out in what seemed like the remains from at least half a dozen piratical movies, equipped not only with a eyepatch, butr also a stuffed parrot!
Smoker decided to lighten the mood, and a number of the crew have joined in at his little cardgame. But when he accidentally managed to spill washing water over Choras cards, so the latter had to draw a new hand, he was chased up into the topgallant for his efforts.
We keep restocking our supplies, and try to keep out of gunrange from the larger men-o-wars until we are ready.
08/08/07
Dogger Banks
Our rebuilding efforts show their worth, and we are once more steadily rising up the ranks. Yesterday Mariners Enrico and Smoker had some extraordinary luck while defending, and sent a scallywag limping home 700 billions worth of men lighter than he arrived, in one tick, and all for no loss of their own!
Bindhi also recruited a new sailor, Morphix by name, and puppeteer by trade. We hope he'll make a welcome addition to the crew, and S/S Event Horizon once more sails with a full compliment of adventurers on the high seas of Bushtarion!
All the while the cruel Lord of the Seas, the frightening Davy Azzer, has opened up a singular tournament, where the most vile cutthroaths of Bushtarion can compete for hidden treasures. But only the most ruthless will survive. Naturally, a number of our crew signed up for this competition!!
09/08/07
Indian Ocean, south of Ceylon.
Last night The Captain marooned mariners Sam and Morphix on a nearby island, due to him having established contact with to salty old seadogs in need of an new posting.
The two new, Toby and Alcibiades had taken their leave of the ship LeftOvers, and will surely strenghten our expedision!
The said LeftOvers was incidentally later seen on the horizon with a plume of smoke and the distant thunder of cannonade was heard on the breeze. A massive battle seemed to evolve there yonder.
11/08/07
The Maldives
T'was a bitter and grey morning when the first gunboats was spotted in the morning mist. The target was our shipmate Beemer. It became clear as the number of enemymen was ever growing that it was paramount to get the man awake and ready to command his troops. After some frantic bell-ringing by Enrico he thus appeared, barely 5 minuts before impact, and could sent his men to safety. Ever loyal they had just waited, reqady to give their life for their master.
But this was only the overture, an hour later a full bodied wave apperared on the horizon. Their banners indicated it was Renaissance. With impressive agility the defence was sorted, and most of the attackers where met head on, and the ones that landed unopposed found their targets positions evacuated, and thus had tad to leave their bloodlust unquenched. For those that didn't find their targets evacuated it was a whole different story. At Enricos posiotion, the enemylosses was 4:1 much thanks to Tobys intervention with millions of terrorist leaders. At Traxion the numbers where more equal, but still the Event Horizon could chalk it up as a victory.
It was perhaps the largest wave we've had to endure in a week and it was countered nicely.
Much festivity unfolded afterwards.
Then during the day, Blackthorn had arranged for a small outing, or rather mayhaps a picnic. The colonies of Pestilence had been chosen as suitable for the purpose, and even though a number of their men had wasted all their resources in a futile effort to stop Beemer earlier, and thus were deamed to bleak and dreary for a proper picnic, there were still a number of pitoresque spots to pitch our tents. Naturally on some spots the hostile inhabitants made landing rather pecarious. Some of our shipmates had to abort the mission, as not to loose more staff than expected, but a fair few came away with holds brimming with bounty and the soil needed to expand their dominions.
Vast expances of sea can hold many dangers as we again was reminded last night. From the depths we could se strange lights and then the ruffians of RightUnders were upon us. Their target was our new shipmate Alcibiades. Their first effort was scared off. After Jeff had roused Enrico and he had tried to contact others.
So when they reappared barely an hour later we were waiting for them. Again Alcibiades was the target. this time they had found reinforcements, and were singelmindedly after their quarry. No diversenary raids at all, just the belief that by throwing massive amounts of men inbto the breetch they would come out victorious. What folly!. The three attackers had deployed an enormous force. And as the defence begun piling in, Mariner Jeff was heard to call to the Captain from below decks "Are there any need for me sir". The dry and somewhat sarcastic reply from Captain Bindhi was: "No, I think we have this HALF A BILLION incomming covered..... *sigh*... yes Jeff please send your men"
When it became clear the aggressor was not backing down, the captains last command was "Ready men, brace for impact".
The first tick was among the most bloody we had experienced so far when the smoke cleared, 3 trillion in damage was the total, of which, the enemy had suffered 2,5... Jubilant cheers rose from the foredeck, as cannons was reloaded and the wounded carried below. The second tick was nearly as bloody with 2,5 trillion in damage. but again The men of Event Horizon came up untop doing unto others more than twice what others did unto them.
By the third tick the enemies spirits was broken, and two had already come about, the last was not so quick, and suffered the indignity of having his few stragglers wiped to a man, for a further quarter-trillion in damage for no losses of our own.
It was then a rather harried Jeff appeared on deck, rock undone and with mismatching boots. When he gathered that the battle was over, and hed missed it, he uttered some words not fit for print.
The action was deamed an utmost success. The three attackers had suffered 4,2 trillions in losses, and our 8 defenders (9, counting Jeff who never got to wet his blades this time) took 1,2 trillion damages.
Captain Bindhi ordered tripple rations of rum for all involved, the sermons for the fallen was solemn and quick, the burials carried out at sea.
13/08/07
Cape of Good Hope
Due to his affairs taking to much time our shipmate Fred had to take his leave from the ship, but he was speadily replaced by a true buccaneer. Bearing the name of Blackbeard he must feel at home at a pirates ship!
Our defences is steadily improving, and we see less waves, and more sneak-attacks. But most are repelled, some with massive damage to our attackers. Attacking has gone more smoothly as well. Many crewmen have grown their holdings by many acres lately, and we are now the 5th most valueable ship on the sea! Ships that used to be our nemesis now become the target of our attacks. Protest is being visited daily. Enema could not stop our marauders landing at will, and we see ships of former glory sliding below us on the rankings.
The nigh****ch shall have praise for their vigil, and our Captain have showed himself very capable in recruiting able sailors to replace those we lost.
(end part 1)
